


We Don't Know How To Say Goodbye

by ScifiSOS



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 01:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4983781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScifiSOS/pseuds/ScifiSOS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know, Solas and I could be in Varric’s next book.”<br/>“Oh? I admit you two do fit his guidelines.”<br/>“Great storyline…”<br/>“A slow romance…”<br/>“Tragic break up…”<br/>“A surprising plot twist…”</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Don't Know How To Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Solavellan
> 
> I'm bored, hands all cramped up so typing is hard. I want to draw but again cramped hand making it hard.
> 
> I started a new origins game playing a Cousland. You know, I can never finish a human noble or dwarf gameplay? I'm trying to fix that by making headcanons. I do love my multi-origin headcanons.
> 
> Anyways, featuring Inquisitor Ghewen Lavellan - who isn't my headcanon Inquisitor. It's weird how often I write her as Inquisitor though. Poor Vayla doesn't get any love.

Ghewen swears Varric wrote all about her love life years before and it came true. Because how else could she and Solas be the ideal tragic love figures that appear from his stories?

They are the "star crossed lovers" that came together, only to be torn apart by each other.

 _No wait, that is wrong. I didn’t do anything – it’s all Solas._ She thought. She is in his room – or at least what was his room. Sitting on his old desk, staring at the paintings, and remembering the days he would work on them.

**_Solas, Var Lath Vir Suledin._ **

_Yeah, but how?_ He is an ancient elven god. Granted, he was portrayed as an evil elven god in her children stories. Finally living up to his role.

Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf.

It just does not make sense, there is nothing to dread from Solas. Except his lectures, perhaps. He isn’t scary. He isn’t evil. Yet plans to destroy the world.

Ghewen thinks she’s still in shock. Two days after the Exalted Council and she still can’t feel anything.

Her eyes blur, she blinks. He had left her, twice. He had left with a part of her, twice.

She raises her left arm, staring at the empty space her forearm used to be – he took apart of her twice.

_No, three times, you are bare-faced remember?_

She still hasn’t cried. She hasn’t cried since the glade. She just feels so empty. She stares and wonders. _How am I still alive? Why am I still alive?_

She misses her clan. She misses her friends. She misses Solas.

She still loves him, her heart and soul are his.

No tears come. She remembers when she used to be angry with him- breaking her heart and walking away when she needed him the most.

She remembers when she was tired of him – never telling her the truth, giving vague answers.

She remembers wanting him – _Var Lath Vir Suledin_.

Will it? She is so tired of loving him. Him and his bad ideas. She sits here, thinking, _why do I have to clean up after his mistakes?_

“Inquisitor?” A voice calls out, she jerks with a start. Her head swerving to the intruder, body tensing. Then she relaxes.

“Something you need, Cassandra?”

The seeker shakes her head, a cautious look in her eye. Ghewen gives a small smile. “You don’t need to worry about me Cassandra. I’m fine.”

The seeker comes closer to the desk, standing in front of it awkwardly. Cassandra turns, and sits on the desk with her – shifting uncomfortably.

Ghewen stares.

“What?” Cassandra lets out nervously.

“Nothing, you’re just…acting strange.”

The seeker flushes and coughs. “I apologize. I thought – are you alright?”

Ghewen smiles, bumping her shoulder against Cassandra’s. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Where should I start?” The seeker says swishing her legs back and forth. “You’ve been criticized for saving the world, found out your lover wishes to destroy the world, lost an arm, and disbanded the Inquisition all but two days ago.”

“Cass-“

“You’ve been walking around Skyhold like a lost child. You don’t focus on anything, and when you do – it is only related to him.” Cassandra’s lips thinned together, looking annoyed. “I will not pretend to understand it but I do know you two had a special bond.”

Ghewen remained silent.

“We are all waiting for you to react.” Cassandra waves her arm. “Scream, shout, be angry, cry – anything. But so far you have done nothing.”

She felt her shoulders tense, what could she say? That she couldn’t feel anything? That she didn’t know why she exists? That she is tired of everything.

She reaches out to Cassandra. “I’m fi-“

She stares at the space where her left hand is supposed to meet the seeker’s shoulder. Right.

“Ghewen, I know I am not the most – ideal person to talk to. But I am here for you, as are the others. We are your friends.”

He took so much from her. She cannot- _will not_ -

Her eyes water. **_She will not._**

An arm is around her shoulder, she feels herself leaning against Cassandra. She looks up to see the seeker looking embarrassed.

Then she realizes she’s crying. Her body heaving as she tries to breathe. Her _only_ hand clutching Cassandra like a lifeline.

**_“I am useless! I don’t know what to do, do you know what I said? I told him we could endure. That our love could endure – I don’t know what I can endure anymore Cass! He takes and takes and takes and I am so tired of giving – but I love him.” _ **

She vaguely feels another arm wrap around her. She holds on tighter, wishing that she was not crying over _him_.

“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t do this alone.”

“We are here to help you.”

“I miss him, I love him.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how to save him.”

“We will find a way.”

\----

Hours later, and they had moved to the couch. Cassandra holding her like the crying _child_ she is.

“You know, Solas and I could be in Varric’s next book.”

“Oh? I admit you two do fit his guidelines.”

“Great storyline…”

“A slow romance…”

“Tragic break up…”

“A surprising plot twist…”

Ghewen smiles sadly. “And we have a crappy ending.”

“I don’t know about that. It’s more like…you two don’t know how to say goodbye.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this shortness. I didn't edit- sorry. Hand got worse as I went.


End file.
